Years ago people would have been hanged or lobotomized for talking to themselves but then Froid came along and explained that it was perfectly fine to do this.
I feel a little less crazy. I talk to my skull and penguin all the time; they never answer. I never get any further but that point, but at least it’s out. But it’s not helping anymore.
I’ve been off the anti depressants too long and yes, I do need them. I know that now. But I told my mother and my doctor everything was fine. Joe is the only one who knows nothing is fine - it’s far from it.
I can’t seem to grasp anything any more. I can barely write, I can’t think by this haze of hopelessness. I hate my job and I hate my course at school. I just want to know I’m going somewhere; I don’t want to be bored.
I feel lonely because I keep pushing people away. I hate a lot and love too little. I never live near the ones I like. My life is the same dull thing : school , home , work. It all goes into a pattern that I hate.
I don’t think I can carry this in my head and on my heart and chest any longer.
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